The Baby Store

Please excuse my vulnerability in telling this story. It has been written here on my screen for about 3 hours. I typed it, and then went to play with the kids before I posted it. While I played, my heart was torn - whether to post it or not. Some of the information has been so secure in my heart. I'm not even sure why I typed it - except that I wanted you to know what a divine miracle Maggie is, too. Then, I checked my email, and had an email from my Mom - making the comment about how I was going journal a story about Maggie, and hadn't done that yet. Okay, God... I'll post it!!

In September 2007, we went to a Veterinarian Conference and Maggie went with us . She was 3 years old and a few months, and the boys were just shy of their first birthday. We were driving along on the highway, going through Houston. She was noticing all of the important landmarks: Lowes and Home Depot... to which she said... "That's where Daddy gets his tools and stuff!" Then, we passed some tall buildings that looked like hospital buildings to her. She said in even more excitement. "Look! The hospital!! That's where we got the brothers!!" (If only it had been that simple, right?)

I cannot remember a time growing up that I didn't envision myself as a mother. I had numerous baby dolls that I "mothered," and I couldn't wait to be a mom. I grew up with the pangs of maternal longing, not knowing that my body may lack the power to reproduce. At the age of 17, I learned that I have a disorder that occurs in one out of every seventy hundred thousand females. About 50% of treated patients achieve pregnancies. One of my biggest fears that was ingrained into the back of my mind was telling my future husband about it. Not an easy task for me, but thankfully, being the man of God that he is, he embraced me even more. We got married not knowing if we would ever be able to have children.

Nothing can describe the magnitude of heartache and despair that each day of infertility treatments bring. I took a huge leap of faith and surrendered my reproductive ability to medicine and one of the most tenderhearted doctors in the field. With God's hand in the situation the entire first year of trying, this doctor provided knowledge and patience with my circumstances. Daily (sometimes twice daily) shots, road trips to and from the hospital, numerous ultrasounds, trial and error, and medication brought nothing but frustration. With God leading us to California for Corbett's profession, the challenge of infertility moved halfway across the country along with us. The countless letdowns were the most difficult to swallow with negative after negative result.

I will never forget the sheer joy in my heart the moment the nurse called me to tell me the results of my pregnancy test were positive. I still remember our exact location when we heard the news. We were driving down "The 101" in Central California, on pins and needles waiting for the phone call. Corbett was driving as the phone rang. I sat, listening to the nurse on the other end. His anxiousness for what was being said caused him to pull over into a parking lot. My eyes and face told him the answer: "A strong positive." God had finally provided those words I had longed to hear. We sat hugging and tearfully praising God in a parking lot just outside of the "Garlic Capitol of the World" in Gilroy, California. To which we have Maggie!

I love Maggie's three year old mind - thinking of a hospital much like that of a tool store... the innocence and child-like faith in that thought. So, today, I leave you with that thought...How God can make something that is so impossible and miraculous seem so simple.

***UPDATE***
Also, please continue your prayers on behalf of my dear friend that is expecting. She will possibly be receiving some very hard and difficult information on Monday - please pray that she and her husband will be able to hear and absorb what they say while maintaining ALL faith in God! My eyes are "swimming" right now for her, and I do covet your prayers on their behalf. I can feel those fears and anxieties all over again! I know what a confusing fog and dream she feels like she is in. Please...pray, pray, pray! For I do know that "where two or more are gathered"... He will hear our cries! Last night, as we put Maggie to bed - we were walking out, and she said: "Daddy, I'm going to dream about *their name's* baby tonight. I can't wait to see him!" You see, she has no idea of the concerns that may lie ahead with this tiny miracle. That comment melted my heart because once again - she is reminding me how important that child-like faith is!